PS I Love You
by FlutieCutie
Summary: A crossover of Lost and the book/movie P.S. I Love You written by Cecilia Ahearn. Finally updated JATE!
1. Chapter 1

-1_Title: P.S. Jate_

_A/N:__This is like a cross between Lost and the book/movie P.S. I Love You. I wrote this as if Kate wasn't a fugitive, for storyline purposes. If you don't like that you can just imagine that she was acquitted, but I don't feel that way. Oh and Charlie's not dead. Anyway, enjoy! Review to let me know if you like it or not so I'll know if I should continue it. )_

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The funeral was nice, it was exactly what he would've wanted. All their friends from the island were there; Sun and Jin, Charlie, Claire and Aaron, Sayid, Hurley, everyone. Even Sawyer surprised them all and showed up. Kate knew that neither of them would never have admitted it, but Jack and Sawyer were good friends who just happened to fight about almost everything.

"I'm real sorry, Freckles," the Southerner had whispered in her ear as he left the interment site. She could tell he had been crying, maybe not heavily, but his eyes were red.

Kate had made sure that there was a small trace of their old life with them, to remind them what they had gone through and how they came to mean so much to each other. Jack's coffin was lowered into the ground and each survivor, one by one, took a handful of dirt and dropped it in the grave. Kate went last but couldn't seem to open her hand to release the dirt. She felt that if she did it was like saying goodbye to him forever and just forgetting about everything they shared.

She felt someone come to her side and gently take her full hand and turn it upside-down, releasing the contents. She looked up and saw Sun giving her a comforting smile through tears. The widow turned and embraced her best friend tightly, completely breaking down, her knees buckling. Sun dropped to the ground with her, trying her best to be strong. She stroked the grieving woman's hair and cried with her, not knowing what else to do.

Eventually they arrived at the Tiki's Taki Bar & Grille for a gathering pf the survivors. Yes, it lived up to it's "tacky" name, but that's what Jack and Kate had loved about it. Once they got off the island, where everything was serious, no one was safe, and relaxation and fun were not an option, tacky didn't seem too bad. They had been tacky newlyweds and loved every second of it.

When they saw them, the survivors waved Kate, Sun, and Jin over to the large table they had taken up in the back corner of the establishment. The walls were decorated with brightly colored surfboards and Hawaiian print shirts, and there was an old-fashioned jukebox next to the party table. Kate eyed the music machine and knew she'd be spending a lot of time by it, playing song after song that she and Jack loved to listen to.

After a few hours of drinking, reminiscing, and laughing together, Charlie went over to the jukebox and put a quarter in. "This one's for you, Jack," he whispered as he pressed the play button.

Kate's head shot up when she heard the beginning seconds of the song, recognizing it immediately. It was Jack's favorite song.

"_It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark. Under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops your heart…"_

All of a sudden she saw no one in the bar but Jack and he was dancing idiotically, as he always had, to Michael Jackson's 'Thriller.' She couldn't help but laugh at him as he tried his hardest to do the famous dance correctly and failed.

The remaining minutes of the song everyone sat quietly with their drinks, no dancing, no singing. It was a moment when reality hit extremely hard because Jack was always the first one to jump out of his chair to do the zombie walk and he wasn't there to do it. After the song ended everyone but Kate, Sun and Jin took their leave, as it was going on 1 A.M.

"Are you going to be okay, Kate? At least, okay getting home?" Sun asked.

"Yeah, I think so. Thanks, Sun," Kate forced a smile.

Jin had learned English since returning to the real world and moving to the United States, and asked, "Are you sure? We could give you a ride back to your apartment, it's not a problem at all."

"I'll be fine, but thanks, Jin," she offered, receiving unsure glances from them both, "Honestly guys, you've done so much for me already."

"At least let us call you a cab," the Korean man persisted.

Kate knew she wasn't going to be able to say no. They were her and Jack's best friends, she couldn't say no to them. So she nodded, "Alright."

The Koreans smiled at her and Jin went to find a phone book. Once the taxi arrived and the driver knew his destination, Kate and Sun shared one last hug. "You call me if you need _anything_, okay? Day or night, it doesn't matter. I'm here for you if you need me. Jin, too," Sun whispered.

Kate barely managed a squeak, "Thanks."

The ride to her apartment building seemed to take forever because it was in complete silence. Normally Jack would keep her occupied but now there would be no more stupid jokes, no more goofing off, or even trying to sing along to whatever song was on the radio station the taxi driver happened to have on. Now, of course, there had been quiet rides when they were both tired, but they would lean on each other, sometimes falling asleep, but she couldn't even do that anymore.

Kate was snapped from her thoughts by the cab driver trying to get her attention. "Uh, Ma'am," he said, "This is your stop. Your friends already paid me, so…"

He didn't get to finish, as Kate was already out of the ugly, yellow car and walking in the front door of the apartment complex. The 5 flights of stairs were no problem for her anymore. They'd lived there for seven and a half years, she had unfortunately grown used to it by now. A few minutes later she stopped in front of the door and took her time opening it.

Kate walked into their…her apartment. It wasn't theirs anymore, he was gone. Jack was gone. He wasn't ever coming back, and it was all because of that damn cancer. It had started a few months ago. No one, not Jack, not his doctors, and definitely not Kate could understand why or how it was spreading so fast and so far. But Jack had come to a certain grips with it; he knew he wouldn't beat it. He wanted so badly to, for Kate, for his friends, but he knew it wasn't going to happen. Kate didn't like to leave his side for anything, afraid that the second she wasn't with him would be his last.

The widow sunk down in Jack's favorite cushy chair and remembered one of the times she had to leave him.

"_Kate?"_

"_Yeah, Jack?"_

"_I'm hungry."_

_Kate grinned. "What would you like?"_

_Her husband sighed, putting on his "thinking" face. He tapped his chin with his finger before saying, "How about…um…some mango?"_

"_Mango? Jack, we don't _have_ any mangoes," Kate complained._

_The doctor made his best puppy face and finally his wife gave in. _

"_Fine. Old habits die hard, I guess. I'll be back in five minutes, tops, okay? Call me if anything happens or you need something else, I've got my cell."_

"_Thank you, honey, I don't know what I'd do without you."_

'_I could say the same thing,' Kate thought to herself as she smiled and waved at him, rushing out the door to go to the grocery store on the corner._

She came back to reality and glanced at the clock on the cable box. 2:36 A.M. Was it really that late? She pushed herself up and went into the bedroom, throwing off the black dress she had been wearing for hours. She turned out the light and crawled into bed, quickly grabbing her cell phone off her bedside table.

Kate flipped it open and dialed a number frantically and putting the phone to her ear. On the dresser the screen of Jack's phone lit up and the caller ID read "Kate."

Three rings later, Jack's voicemail picked up.

"Hey, this is Jack. Can't talk right now, but leave a message and I promise to get back to you. Bye."

Tears streamed down Kate's face as she dialed his number over and over so she could hear his voice. She _needed_ to hear his voice. She needed _him_.

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_A/N: So thanks for reading and please please please let me know what you think. )_


	2. Kate's Birthday Festivities

_**A/N: Well, hello there. It has been long since forever that I've done anything with this story. Mostly because I wrote out chapter 2 and then lost it. Seriously, it's like it vanished beyond all findability (even though that's not a word haha). Recently, though, I miraculously found it in an old old old notebook. I wasn't going to post it, but I figured, "What the heck...why not?" So here we are. Sorry to anyone who actually remembers this and is mad at me for basically abandoning it.**_

_**Disclaimer: As I would think is fairly obvious, I do not own **_**Lost**_** or **_**P.S. I Love You**_**. Those belong to some fabulous writers/producers/directors/authors. Also, I do not own 'Annie's Son' by John Denver (which is a beautiful song, by the way). Moving on now...**_

Kate hardly left her apartment for the next few weeks. She spent her time slow dancing around from room to room to Patsy Cline and John Denver, and watching Brat Pack movies. Those were some of her and Jack's favorite films to watch together on rainy Saturday afternoons. The brown leather jacket she had given him for their first Christmas off the island never left her body. Dirty dishes and takeout containers littered the apartment and there was hardly a clean surface to be found. The only spotless area was the bedside table on Jack's side of the bed. He never liked when it got cluttered up, so Kate kept it that way for him. _'He would have wanted it that way,'_ she thought.

Kate was in the middle of belting out 'Annie's Song' by John Denver, using one of Jack's combs as a microphone, when Sun, Claire, and Charlie entered the apartment. They stood in shock, watching their friend sway dramatically to the music. After a few seconds, Kate noticed them and froze where she stood. She grabbed the stereo remote off of the coffee table and turned it off. All she was wearing was a pair of Jack's gym shorts and his favorite Red Sox t-shirt.

"Happy birthday!"

"You're thirty!"

"Happy birthday, Kate!"

"Uh...hi," an embarrassed Kate said, "Wh...uh, what are you guys doing here?"

Claire spoke up, "It's your birthday, we're taking you out. Duh."

Just then, Jin came in carrying a rather large stack of mail. "Kate, I grabbed these for you; they were falling out of your mail..." he looked up and saw the scene. "...box."

Kate rubbed her eyes. "Just...just give me a minute to get cleaned up," she said as she turned and walked to the bathroom. Once she was out of sight her, friends immediately began to clean.

About an hour later Kate came out of her bedroom wearing an outfit one would assume was meant for a grandmother. Sun got up and shook her head, steering her best friend back into her room to look for something, anything, other than what she was currently wearing. "We're going out, Kate, not knitting socks. Come on, I'll find you something."

Another half hour passed and Sun was putting some finishing touches on Kate's hair. Claire walked in smiling. "You look fantastic, Kate!" she said, "And something just came for you."

The three women walked into the living room area where Jin and Charlie were seated, careful not to sit in Jack's recliner. The girls sat down on the couch and looked at the giant yellow box on the coffee table. "Well, are you gonna open it or are you planning on waiting until your _next_ birthday?" Charlie joked.

Kate stuck her tongue out at him and looked at the box again. She lifted the lid off to reveal a cake. It had white icing with pink, green, and blue trim. There was a message on top of it written in blue piping. Whoever was behind this, it was _not_ funny.

_Happy birthday, Katie! I love you so much. Love, Jack_

The widow looked around at her friends, who all sat in stunned silence. "Jin, did you do this?" she demanded.

Jin shook his head, confused. "No, I did not, I swear." He noticed something taped to the inside of the lid. "What's this?"

He took it out and handed it to Kate. It was a DVD and it had _'Watch Me_' written on it with black Sharpie. She quickly put it in the player and pressed play. Jack's face came on the screen. Everyone stared in disbelief, while Kate's hand flew to cover her mouth.

On screen, Jack smiled and waved. "Hey, Katie," he said, "I know that this might seem a little...I don't know, odd or maybe even morbid, but I'm gonna keep talking anyway. The truth is, I'm not ready to say goodbye to you yet."

He paused, looking at the camera, and Kate knew he was looking only at her. He took a deep breath and continued.

"I waited until your birthday to do this because I figured you might've become a bit reclusive for awhile. Okay, that sounds extremely self-absorbed...but you know what I mean. Right? Anyway, here's the deal: I've written you a lot of letters, one for each month of the year, and you'll be getting them in all kinds of different ways. Good thing your birthday's in January, huh? Now, don't try to figure out how the whole thing works; it'll just ruin it for you, and it's too brilliant anyway. Just trust me on this, okay?"

"Okay," Kate whispered, wiping away tears.

"Good!" Jack clapped his hands together, "Katie, it's your birthday. Oh yeah, happy birthday, honey; I wish I could be there with you to watch you freak out over turning thirty. It's not all that bad, I promise," he smiled, "But eat some of that cake, go out with your girlfriends, and have some fun! You should get this month's letter sometime tomorrow. I'll see you later, Kate. And remember, I love you. Forever."

Kate wiped her eyes as Sun and Claire gave her a much needed hug. They all looked up when they heard clattering. Charlie was standing there with five plates and forks. "Anybody for cake?" he asked with a cheeky grin.

The group of friends talked and laughed as they ate their cake and Claire broke out a bottle of tequila, which disappeared in about ten minutes. When the cake was gone, Sun called two cabs; one for the girls and one for the guys.

"We're going to find a club somewhere to get into," Claire told the guys, "You two go do whatever. Oh, and don't wait up, we will _definitely_ be awhile."

The girls left and ended up at a club named 'Nu' that they had heard was some sort of celebrity hotspot. They were desperately trying to get in, but the bouncer wasn't budging.

"You don't understand, Mr. Bouncer Man, we _are _famous, I swear!" Claire argued. Sun and Kate nodded to back her up.

The large man in front of them rolled his eyes, "Yeah, lady, and my mother is Joan Rivers."

He turned back to the line while Kate, Sun, and Claire tried to figure out how to get inside. Just then, a big name actress named Lena Kilgarus was ushered to the front of the line. "Make way, people! VIP coming through!" the bouncer shouted.

Lena was about to enter the club when she saw the three ladies standing on the sidewalk. "Um, excuse me?" she called, and they turned to see who she was. Their eyes widened.

"Aren't you three survivors of Oceanic 815 from awhile ago? Kate Shephard, Sun Kwon, and Claire Littleton-Pace?"

They nodded and Claire spoke up, "Y-Yeah, but this guy doesn't believe us, so we can't get in."

Lena shot the surprised bouncer a mean look and spoke again, "Well, _I_ know who you are; you can come in with me."

The three followed the actress into the club, smirking and sticking their tongues out at the bouncer as they passed him. Once they were inside, the drank and danced until they could hardly stand anymore.

After several hours had passed, Sun went over to where Kate was seated at the bar and asked over the music, "Hey, do you want to go to Rose and Bernard's? I'm kind of over this club, it's not as cool as we thought it would be."

Kate nodded; she was done with it, too, but she was sure it wasn't for the same reasons. Wherever she looked there was a couple sucking each other's faces off or dancing together or holding hands and laughing. Soon she was torn from her thoughts by Sun, Claire, and Lena stumbling over to her.

"I guess I'll see you three around; it's been fun, really," Lena said with slurred words.

"Thanks for, for bringing us i-in with you, Lena, that bouncer's a knob," Claire replied. Kate guessed that she had let loose completely tonight because Charlie was home with Aaron.

Lena looked confused. "A what?"

Sun giggled, "It's an Australian thing."

"Oh," the actress replied and handed Kate a napkin with a number scribbled on it, "Well, give me a call if you ever need anything, you guys."

The girls waved goodbye to each other as they went their separate ways. Sun, Claire, and Kate stuck their tongues out at the bouncer again as they left and got into a cab. Once the driver knew his destination it on ly took a few minutes to get there.

The three friends walked, or rather staggered, into the Home Kitchen, a restaurant owned by Rose and Bernard. Sawyer had decided to stay in L.A. after the crash and had asked Rose for a job when the restaurant was opened. He looked up from one of the cash registers when the door opened and saw Kate, Claire, and Sun stumble their way toward a booth in the corner.

"Can I get you ladies anything?" he asked cautiously, walking over to their table.

Claire just started giggling uncontrollably while Kate dropped her head on the table and mumbled an answer. "Coffee. Lots and lots of coffee."

Sun nodded and added, "Thank you, kind sir, for your generospitality!"

Sawyer looked at her strangely for her invented word, but turned away and went into the kitchen. Soon enough, Rose, having been informed by Sawyer of the state of the ladies in the dining room, came over with a pot of coffee and some mugs, and sat down with the drunken girls.

"Well, happy birthday, Kate," she said, handing the widow a cup, "I'd say you three had a bit of fun tonight."

Kate took a sip of steaming liquid before laying her head back down. Sun was too busy stacking the salt and pepper shakers to notice the mug in front of her. Claire started laughing again, "It was ace! Once we got rid of that bloody bouncer. I swear, that boomer was as mean as cat's piss!"

Kate didn't lift her head as she mumbled, "I swear, Claire, you get more Aussie when you're drunk..."

"Good on ya, mate!" Claire declared as she tried to stand up.

Rose laughed softly and told her, "I had Sawyer call Charlie, sweetheart, he's on his way. Same for you, Sun, Jin's on his way."

A few minutes later, the men showed up and took their wives home. Kate was now asleep at the table and showed no intentions of waking up anytime soon. Rose sighed. "Sawyer," she called, "Would you bring Kate over to my place? We're not far from her apartment, but I don't think she's going anywhere for the night."

The young man nodded and picked the sleeping woman up into a fireman's cradle. He followed Rose next door and up the stairs into a small guest bedroom. He gently laid her down on the bed and watched asa her shoes were slipped off her feet and she was tucked in by Rose. The older woman looked up at him but he never took his eyes off of Kate's sleeping form.

"Sawyer?" Rose said, getting his attention, "You can start closing up next door."

The Southerner nodded and slowly left the room. Rose stayed a few more minutes and sat with the young woman who was like a daughter to her. She then kissed her on the forehead and whispered, "Sweet dreams, honey."


End file.
